I just felt so at peace. I woke up this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep. It was only like 7:40, but recently I've been waking up so early no matter how late I get to sleep. I wasn't stressed out, even though the big video shoot was today. I had so much on my mind, but it all seemed to be prioritized correctly. I thought, "okay today is going to be crazy, but the time to worry about that will come later, first I need to spend time with my One great love, and go to church and listen closely, and He will put everything into place.
Every time I feel this unusual calmness though I wonder...Is this the calm before the storm. It seems the only way I grow is through hard times. Whether that is because of stubbornness or just because that is the way it is with the human race...I don't know.
I started reading 1 Samuel. Remembering how Samuel heard the Lord's voice as a little boy. It said he didn't know the Lord and the first 2 times He heard him calling him, he didn't know it was the Lord, he thought it was his master Eli, just a man. When he realized it was the Lord, I suppose he couldn't deny the things he was being told and how clearly they were being told (Especially if they were so clear that he literally thought it was just the person in the next room calling him). So...he spent his whole childhood serving in the temple...and only when God point blank was speaking to him, did he figure out who God was. This is pretty amazing as far as asking God to speak to me and trusting that He pursues us so we will know Him even when we are oblivious to it.
Samuel was also "consecrated" or promised to God. He was given as a servant to God. He had no choice in the matter. I found out that my name "Elisabeth" or "Lisa" means "consecrated" or "devoted to God". I always thought it just meant "God is oath" which is a lot harder to understand. Knowing it means devoted to God, got me looking at my tatoo "The Lord's" today and I had gotten it before I knew that was the meaning of my name. Pretty fitting. Maybe I too was consecrated to God long before I knew Him. It's beautiful. I used to think God had no say over my life. Used to fight the idea that He wanted to take it from me and make all my decisions. Now I give it freely. I try to always count the cost of my words...I'll give anything for Him. He can have it all. Even if I am left with nothing in the words eyes, His love for me will count for more than all the riches of the world. Even if the situation were as bad as could be, His love could fill all the cracks, and I could be whole-er and more joyful than any millionaire or love-sick couple in the world.
So today, as I regain energy and clarity in my rest, I will be prepared for the next thing. No matter where You take me. No matter where I end up, even if it doesn't feel like it then, You are my Rest.. You are my repose.
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